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08 November 2007 @ 12:49 am
munster r.i.p. (071107, 21:25)  
my princess has left me.

i'd found her weak at the bottom of her jar, and knew my worst fears were coming true. i've in fact had this conversation with uncle jeremy and uncle john several times. signs to watch out for, and how i should take pride in the fact that i gave her a wonderful life. but no matter how prepared i thought i was, it's still hard.

i've always wanted to hold her in my hand. i wasn't gonna let her die on the cold hard plastic floor of her jar, so i managed to get her to walk onto my hand so i could cradle her in her final moments. i held her for over an hour. as she weakened and slowly curled in the warmth of my palm, i thought about how she has changed my life - this one wonderful little brown creature. from the day she scared the shit outta me when i knew nothing about spiders, to how she slowly won a place in my heart over the past months. every time she peered at me with her furry little face, my heart would melt a little.



it has been such a lovely journey with my princess. i did suspect she was quite mature, from her markings and size as compared to others of her same kind as i got to see more of them in the past months. i just didn't think it would be so soon. i'm glad she managed to raise three batches of wonderful kids. i'd like to think she had a fulfilling and happy life. and i'm glad i was here to see her off in her final moments.

rest in peace, my beautiful girl. thank you for appearing in my bathroom when you did that morning. thank you for everything you've done to me. thank you for becoming an important part of my life and for opening my eyes. thank you for being such an awesome little spideykid. you will always be the most special one. i'm going to miss you. very, very much.
 
 
feelin': crushedcrushed
 
 
 
Matt: industry2ed_dirt on November 7th, 2007 05:36 pm (UTC)
I just got all choked up over a spider.

thank you for sharing her with us.
JV: munsterbeardrag0nette on November 7th, 2007 06:20 pm (UTC)
thank you for joining us for the ride, matt. :)
Brainclawbrainclaw on November 7th, 2007 05:46 pm (UTC)
OK...
I'm sitting at my desk at work, crying over your spider...

sniff...
JV: munsterbeardrag0nette on November 7th, 2007 06:22 pm (UTC)
Re: OK...
*puffy-eyed smile*

:)
buckskin and lacehennepin on November 7th, 2007 05:46 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry to hear this. I was just talking about Munster with kylecassidy last night and he said he was dreading the day when she would be gone... and here it is.

Thank you for allowing her into your life and sharing her with others.
JV: munsterpeekdrag0nette on November 7th, 2007 06:32 pm (UTC)
thank you, trillian... on one hand i am devastated with her passing and amazed at how much she has affected me. on the other, i know that is exactly what has enabled me to let her touch the lives of people. :)
kyle cassidykylecassidy on November 7th, 2007 06:02 pm (UTC)
it's not hard to believe that i'm heartbroken over the death of a spider half a world away, because of your wonderful writing and brilliant photography. she had so much personality. i'm glad you were with her at the end.

trillian and i were just talking about this last night at dinner -- that she may die very soon.

bye darling -- speed well.
JV: munsterpeekdrag0nette on November 7th, 2007 06:43 pm (UTC)
thanks kyle :) i now know what it's like to cry and smile at the same time. heh! i'm so very glad i didn't just find her curled up in her jar. it meant a lot to me to be able to see her to the end. i'd like to think that she was waiting to say goodbye to me.

i owe it all to my beautiful little subject for the writing and the pictures - i wouldn't have been able to write or shoot like that if she hadn't been so awesome. :)
Matted_dirt on November 7th, 2007 07:03 pm (UTC)
There you go again
"i'm so very glad i didn't just find her curled up in her jar."

Me too. That last picture would be so unutterably sad if you hadn't been able to take the previous four.

As it is, this last set of photos is a beautiful good bye.

And I agree with Kyle. Your photos and writing have really made this journey an awesome trip.


Annnnd, this...

You have all the material for a book in your hands right now. It's all there for a publisher, or lulu if you wanted to do it yourself.

I'd buy a copy and then I'd buy another one for my nephew Ben who would just go bananas over this story.
JV: munsterpeekdrag0nette on November 7th, 2007 07:58 pm (UTC)
Re: There you go again
aww... thank you, matt. :) it would be awesome if munster lives on in this way, and perhaps make more kids in the world less afraid of spiders. i'm not sure if singaporean publishers would be up for such a book, but it's an idea worth chewing on...
kyle cassidykylecassidy on November 7th, 2007 09:56 pm (UTC)
Re: There you go again
i'll help. i know publishers.
JV: munsterpeekdrag0nette on November 7th, 2007 10:03 pm (UTC)
Re: There you go again
wow. really? that would rock very bigtime. :) regardless of the outcome, thank you very muchly, kyle!
kyle cassidykylecassidy on November 7th, 2007 10:06 pm (UTC)
Re: There you go again
yah, if you want to email me at kyle@kylecassidy.com we can discuss it.
JV: munsterpeekdrag0nette on November 7th, 2007 10:08 pm (UTC)
Re: There you go again
gotcha! :)
senprojectsen on November 7th, 2007 06:16 pm (UTC)
awwww SO SAD!

~sen
senprojectsen on November 7th, 2007 06:17 pm (UTC)
p.s and your pictures and lens have been spectacular!
JV: munsterboodrag0nette on November 7th, 2007 06:45 pm (UTC)
thanks sen. :)

i've had a beautiful model, that's why!
Fala Redwing: Magic Happensfala_redwing on November 7th, 2007 08:44 pm (UTC)
kylecassidy pointed me this way, and I'm glad he did. I'm sorry you lost her so soon, but she seemed to be happy and healthy throughout. Thank you so much for sharing her with us. Many hugs to you and the rest of the spideykids, and may Munster rest well.
JV: munsterbeardrag0nette on November 7th, 2007 09:23 pm (UTC)
thank you for your kind words, fala-ten! :)
.that girl.: i need cuddlesgirlwhowaits on November 7th, 2007 08:51 pm (UTC)
I will miss reading about her. *hugs*

the pics are great tributes to her.
JV: munsterbeardrag0nette on November 7th, 2007 09:24 pm (UTC)
and i will miss writing about her. sigh.

*hugs* back
ex_neke on November 7th, 2007 09:49 pm (UTC)
Came here through kylecassidy and now I'm crying over a dead spider. :(

I think she had a wonderful life though, judging from your pictures and stories.

I hope you don't mind if I friend you, because I don't want to miss out on any spidey updates. :)
JV: munsterbeardrag0nette on November 7th, 2007 10:01 pm (UTC)
thank you for your kind words, neke! you're most welcome to join us. :)
ex_neke on November 7th, 2007 10:17 pm (UTC)
Thank you. :)
JV: munsterbeardrag0nette on November 8th, 2007 05:07 am (UTC)
please enjoy your stay! :)
tripleransomtripleransom on November 8th, 2007 02:40 am (UTC)
I'm here thorough Kyle also. Your writing and photos are beautiful. I'm sorry you had to lose Munster so soon. Darnit! Now I'm crying too...
JV: munsterpeekdrag0nette on November 8th, 2007 05:06 am (UTC)
thank you for your kind words, tripleransom. :) i am touched that so many people are sharing my woe.

Edited at 2007-11-08 08:50 am (UTC)
Wenzwwenzz on November 8th, 2007 04:54 am (UTC)
Sorry to hear that, jv. Thanks for sharing her with us! I never knew spiders are such beautiful creatures until i read your journal. She'll be fine, i believe.
JV: munsterbeardrag0nette on November 8th, 2007 05:07 am (UTC)
thanks wendy! :)
hianhwee, tracy LIMhianhwee on November 8th, 2007 12:42 pm (UTC)
so sad...
your blog touched me.
ever since you have munster princess as your pet, i am reading. i must say that i am still scare of spider but your little princess closeup make me less apprehensive.
it is always hard to let go something/someone that one adores so much. it is hard and i must say that i am proud of you for providing her a different env to stay and breed her offsprings.
thank you for sharing your little princess with your friends.
thank you munster.
JV: munsterpeekdrag0nette on November 8th, 2007 02:58 pm (UTC)
thank you, HH. she has given me so much and put a new dimension in my life that i never imagined possible. :)
hianhwee, tracy LIMhianhwee on November 8th, 2007 03:01 pm (UTC)
yes, i can see that. take care.
JV: munsterpeekdrag0nette on November 8th, 2007 03:02 pm (UTC)
will do. thank you! :)
i could be the apple of your eye: latte lovechainblinger on November 8th, 2007 03:12 pm (UTC)
♥ I am so sorry to hear about Munster's passing:(

I never thought I'd ever cry over a spider but wow. I am so heart broken for you. Thank you for sharing Munster's story, though. You've both done a lot for changing my perceptions of spiders.
JV: munsterpeekdrag0nette on November 8th, 2007 06:02 pm (UTC)
thank you for your kind words! :) that is exactly what i hoped to do by writing about my spideykids - to change people's perception of spiders. :) thank you for leaving this comment! munster would be happy that she has made such a difference.
The Citygent: ZenGentcitygent on November 8th, 2007 08:20 pm (UTC)
That's sweet.

She was a pretty one
JV: munsterbeardrag0nette on November 9th, 2007 05:46 am (UTC)
she was lots more than a pretty one to me. :)
ifpetalsfallifpetalsfall on November 9th, 2007 12:20 am (UTC)
I am so sorry about your loss. I followed a link from Kyle's journal and I really enjoyed reading about Munster. Thank-you so much for sharing.
JV: munsterboodrag0nette on November 9th, 2007 05:40 am (UTC)
thank you for your kind words! i'm very glad you enjoyed her too. :)
elinbreadcrumbs on November 10th, 2007 04:13 pm (UTC)
*hugs* babe! Hang in there and thank you for sharing.
JV: munsterbeardrag0nette on November 10th, 2007 04:17 pm (UTC)
thanks babe. :) *hugs* back
ilovepearly on November 12th, 2007 07:29 pm (UTC)
Awww
Sorry to hear about that.
What is there life span?
This isn't something I would expect or know about spiders.
JV: munsterboodrag0nette on November 13th, 2007 01:40 am (UTC)
Re: Awww
munster was a hasarius adansoni, with a lifespan of typically 2-3 years.
Tiana: the little pixie that couldanglicwitch on November 13th, 2007 03:45 am (UTC)
hi, you don't know me but i found you through kyle cassidy's lj and I'm BAWLING right now and my heart hurts.

I'm going to friend you because you're freakin' amazing and because i want to see what happens with bobbette and lucy's bubbies....

ughh... my heart aches so much....
JV: munsterbeardrag0nette on November 13th, 2007 02:06 pm (UTC)
thank you, little pixie. i'm amazed and touched by all the kind words everyone has left for me, for munster. please feel free to add me! :)
astrorainfallastrorainfall on November 13th, 2007 01:52 pm (UTC)
ohhhh so sad. i'm sorry about princess.... hugs. she was a real cutey...
JV: munsterbeardrag0nette on November 13th, 2007 02:07 pm (UTC)
thanks babe. she really was very special. :) *hugs* back
shannonfoulcollier on November 22nd, 2007 10:43 pm (UTC)
Truly a touching story, your compassion is amazing!
JV: munsterpeekdrag0nette on November 23rd, 2007 02:37 am (UTC)
thank you, shannon! :)