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19 July 2006 @ 06:22 pm
apples and wine  
i don't usually forward stuff but this one really cracked me up. :)

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Apples & Wine

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Now Men.... Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

Share this with all the good apples you know.
 
 
feelin': amusedamused
 
 
 
Marktarsarlan on July 19th, 2006 11:40 am (UTC)
Heh, I like it. And I'm sure I'd make an awesome w(h)ine. ;)
JVdrag0nette on July 19th, 2006 12:34 pm (UTC)
teehee!

i'm sure you would. :)
senprojectsen on July 19th, 2006 01:08 pm (UTC)
hahah!

but then does that mean that men, being like wine, also GET BETTER WITH AGE - while women turn into apple cider vinegar?

~sen
JVdrag0nette on July 19th, 2006 01:51 pm (UTC)
hahaha!

that could be true. :)

though some wine just won't taste good no matter how many years they mature for, while some premium apple cider vinegar could be excellent stuff.
jasonmichaels on July 19th, 2006 03:04 pm (UTC)
Sometimes, apples that appear shiny have rotten cores. With worms in them.
JVdrag0nette on July 19th, 2006 03:07 pm (UTC)
that is indeed true!
senprojectsen on July 19th, 2006 03:35 pm (UTC)
that's why i say go with the potatoes!

not the baked ones though.

~sen
JVdrag0nette on July 19th, 2006 03:49 pm (UTC)
why not baked ones?

jasonmichaels on July 19th, 2006 04:03 pm (UTC)
Personally, I like my baked potatoes loaded. Salsa, Sour cream, chives, and of course, Bac-o's.
JV: eatdrag0nette on July 19th, 2006 04:08 pm (UTC)
that rocks for me too, minus the salsa.

i'm also happy with cheese and tuna. i had baby baked potatoes topped with melted cheddar for breakfast today! a little excessive, it was. but a good start to any day.
(Anonymous) on July 20th, 2006 02:50 pm (UTC)
You should become a professional food critic for magazines and stuff. That's like the perfect job for you.

However, baked potatoes + tuna = disgusting!
jasonmichaels on July 20th, 2006 02:50 pm (UTC)
You should become a professional food critic for magazines and stuff. That's like the perfect job for you.

However, baked potatoes + tuna = disgusting!
JV: eatdrag0nette on July 20th, 2006 03:10 pm (UTC)
i don't think food critics earn very much. :P

baked potatoes + tuna = disgusting!
baked potatoes + cheese + tuna = yum!

the key is to use the right cheese!
jasonmichaels on July 20th, 2006 03:20 pm (UTC)
May I ask what you do?

My guess would be something creative.
JVdrag0nette on July 20th, 2006 04:37 pm (UTC)
i run a subtitling team. :) we translate stuff.
jasonmichaels on July 19th, 2006 04:01 pm (UTC)
Never forget the Irish Potato famine of 1842.
JVdrag0nette on July 19th, 2006 04:12 pm (UTC)
it would be a sin to forget such a thing!

(unless you never knew it in the first place)
The Citygent: BuzzGentcitygent on July 19th, 2006 11:14 pm (UTC)
I heard this one a while ago, and since then, I've been behaving like a woman. It appears I'm still at the top of the tree
JVdrag0nette on July 20th, 2006 01:45 pm (UTC)
hmm... so you're waiting for the woman who's going to climb the tree like a man and pluck you off your feet!
The Citygentcitygent on July 21st, 2006 12:52 pm (UTC)
I could be waiting a long time, at this rate *sigh*
JVdrag0nette on July 21st, 2006 05:59 pm (UTC)
*pat pat*
The Citygentcitygent on July 24th, 2006 12:42 pm (UTC)
heh pwoooor meeeee etc ;o)
walletowalleto on July 20th, 2006 05:47 am (UTC)
Good description but a few things need to be clarified.

While the best ones are at the top of the tree, there are certain types of apples up there that have too much of a waxy coating and 'stuck up' higher than they should be. As a result birds pick bits off them and end up as a damaged goods. Dont waste your time with these, once you give them a wash and bring them back to the earth they taste just like the ones at the bottom only they arent covered in dog shit from being on the ground for too long.

As far as men goes, its not so much the woman stomping the shit out of them to make them into something appetising but more that the woman needs to jump up and down on the grape to achieve a certain level of satisfaction. Some grapes are bigger and juicier than others so the amount of jumping can range from anywhere between 2min - 2hours. (Sometimes there are very excited grapes that aren't that juicy and last about 30 seconds, best to stay away from these. Then there are juicy grapes that need a good few hours work, especially if powdered additives are added to the mix.)
Probably recommended that the woman jump up and down on a few different varieties of grapes so she knows what she likes. The grapes will be happy too.
JVdrag0nette on July 20th, 2006 07:32 am (UTC)
hahaha!!!

luke! tsk tsk!
Debraolimomok on July 20th, 2006 09:11 am (UTC)
I love this! :D HAHA
JVdrag0nette on July 20th, 2006 01:44 pm (UTC)
and you're a good apple that has been picked! ;)