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28 February 2007 @ 12:39 am
daddy's little girl  
i'd never really been daddy's little girl. the only quality father-daughter time i remember we'd ever shared was when i was about 4 years old. father took me to the coffeeshop nearby and taught me to slurp hot milk tea from the saucer. i remember that he held me by my wrist as we walked, because my hand was too small to hold. i was so short, all i saw were legs, legs, legs and more legs.

i was quite a klutz who was always getting into trouble or into injury. one time, i had a bad fall and sprained my left knee in a terrible way. the terrible knee had to be put in a cast. i don't remember for how long, but i remember riding on father's shoulder on the way home. i could touch the ceiling of the lift.

another time, i slammed my head into my bedroom wall while trying to throw myself back onto my springy bed. i'd forgotten to turn lengthwise. :p so i was a stupid kid. it didn't hurt, but the 'thunk' was pretty loud. father rushed into the room to see if i'd cracked my head open. i must have had a block of wood as a head.

i have more stupid childhood stories but those days were saved by mother, so i shall leave that for another time. because now i want to talk about father...

over the years, father never spoke much to us kids. he was a stern, stern man - disciplinary master of whichever school he happened to be teaching in, the one who canes little boys at the morning assembly, and the reason why i had so many people trying to be my best friend when i was a wee 7-year-old. the question of true friendship came to me at a very young age.

father would only speak to us when we were being punished. and that was how it was, from childhood to teenage years to young adult life. mother was the one we would communicate with. even then, there was little communication. i was a rebel without a cause.

during my years in australia when i was a young adult, i grew to miss mother very much and started chatting on the phone with her. we became friends. :) but father was still not in my life very much... not at all.

when i returned to singapore to live, my family was almost the way i left them - except that i was much closer to mother. i was also starting to get along with my brother, bryce. father was still the same stern person who didn't speak much.

then something strange happened. my brother brought the 'oven' spa home last year, and our whole family has been using it daily. father has mellowed over the years, which is a totally natural progression - but after months of baking in it, his temper seems to have changed. he jokes around with mother, and laughs a lot more now. in the months before i left for my present holiday, we could actually carry out short conversations!

my friends have pointed out that i've calmed down a lot as well. i guess that helps. :) not many fathers can hold conversations with an angsty kid. all that zen music must be doing something to us.

so, fast forward to present day:

father has been sms-ing me. :) in chinese, no less. haha! he has been sms-ing me every few days just to check on me and see how i'm doing. it's a cold summernight in melbourne, but my little heart is warm.


maybe it's not too late to be daddy's little girl.

feelin': lovedloved
Little Miss Sunshine.tiffanyx on February 27th, 2007 02:26 pm (UTC)

whenever you call home to chat with mumsy, dont forget dadster lo. even 2-3sentences also good! :)))
JV: speckydrag0nette on February 27th, 2007 02:30 pm (UTC)
father's just not the 'chatty' type. :) i think he prefers to sms for now. heh.
(no subject) - tiffanyx on February 27th, 2007 02:37 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - drag0nette on February 27th, 2007 02:38 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - tiffanyx on February 27th, 2007 02:51 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - drag0nette on February 27th, 2007 02:52 pm (UTC) (Expand)
.that girl.: milk cookie lovegirlwhowaits on February 27th, 2007 02:31 pm (UTC)
I wish my dad's like that :)

JV: leaf116drag0nette on February 27th, 2007 02:37 pm (UTC)
people change. :) if my father can change, anyone can!

it also gets easier with age. pop your dad a mail once in awhile. might make him smile. :) even if he doesn't admit it!
lilsnoozelilsnooze on February 27th, 2007 02:38 pm (UTC)
indeed, sms makes it easier for fathers to communicate :)
JV: speckydrag0nette on February 27th, 2007 02:39 pm (UTC)
hooray for technology! :)
sticker mansilver_crv on February 27th, 2007 03:58 pm (UTC)
oh man!!...this is very touching... I enjoyed reading it.
it never too late in everything...give him a call and surprised him...
JV: poohdrag0nette on February 27th, 2007 05:05 pm (UTC)
aww... i would love to but it would freak him out i think! haha! i'll let him sms for now. i think that's in his comfort zone. :)

thanks for reading! :D
icklemonsterickleoriental on February 27th, 2007 05:40 pm (UTC)
aww that is a wonderful story.. hey, what is an oven spa?

btw, i dont think i ever responded but i'm so glad to hear the health is totally fine!!
JV: summerdrag0nette on February 27th, 2007 06:09 pm (UTC)
come and read this longass entry if you get a minute! :)


i did a brief explanation in the comments on that post. will be doing a detailed entry on this technology soon. :) have to grab my material back from jean's place!

love the snow angel icon!
hianhwee, tracy LIMhianhwee on February 27th, 2007 07:41 pm (UTC)
almost the same
this sounded exactly the relationship i have with my dad minus the msging and baking parts.

my dad is a stern man as he was one of the heros that guarded the nation's security from the 60s to late 80s in ISD with the police. my siblings and myself seldom see him when we are at tender age due to his "secretive" work schdules. however, on every sundays we definitely visit tanjong pagar (now near the vacant plot beside Amara) to have our lunches and visit my late grandfather who was still alive then. those were the most memorable parts of my childhood till i am 15 when my family fell apart.

like your dad, my father has mellow too. i believed that age plays a part and the other, due to the cancer he braced thru. he is getting old and has problems getting his balance when trying to walk. the recent years, he listens to us more than we listen to him and this was quite impossible as he is the domineering type.

i guessed that most fathers (parents) are stern yet we are still the little boys/girls inside their hearts (and ours too)!
JV: shirtdrag0nette on February 28th, 2007 04:23 am (UTC)
Re: almost the same
it must be hard watching a parent age and have problems walking. i know i will be very sad when my parents become frail... and i will be devastated when they leave! that's why i think i will not move out of singapore yet. i want to be there for them and make up for all the lost time that we missed when i was growing up. and i want to be there for them when they get really old.
Re: almost the same - hianhwee on February 28th, 2007 03:22 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: almost the same - drag0nette on February 28th, 2007 03:26 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: almost the same - hianhwee on February 28th, 2007 03:36 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: almost the same - drag0nette on February 28th, 2007 03:40 pm (UTC) (Expand)
The Citygent: younggreygentcitygent on February 27th, 2007 09:43 pm (UTC)
That's sweet :o)
JV: poohdrag0nette on February 28th, 2007 04:18 am (UTC)
thankyoo. :D
Debraolimomok on February 28th, 2007 01:31 am (UTC)
Aww what a sweet story. My dad used to be very strict with us when we were younger too :) No it's never too late to be daddy's girl.
JV: leaf116drag0nette on February 28th, 2007 04:17 am (UTC)
you have a wonderful family debra! i wish my family's like that but i love them all the same anyhow. :)
(Anonymous) on February 28th, 2007 01:45 am (UTC)
um, i think you have always been daddy's little girl. you know that he doesn't speak much and probably doesn't really know what to say or how to say things.

i'm sure he's been the first to jump to your rescue and wlll always want to be there to help you. it's just that he can't express himself too well.

all your life he's been showing concern and care, and you've seen it for yourself as expreseed in the first few paras.

i think sms and the fact that you're away gives him a proper reason to communicate without coming across as awkward. take baby steps and ease him into it, you'll be surprised at how quickly a dad can mellow and come out of his shell once he knows you're cool with it.

JV: poohdrag0nette on February 28th, 2007 04:15 am (UTC)
i guess i've been his little girl since i was little, but we might have lost each other along the way. father has a drinking problem - he doesn't get violent or anything but he just drinks too much. thus, he was never at home, until recently when he cut down a little. this is one of mother's biggest gripes about father. and us kids' too - grandfather died from liver failure. we hope history will not repeat itself. :[

so, i've always been more of a mommy's girl than daddy's girl. mother and i used to always bitch about father. hehe!

now that he's all mellow, drinking (slightly) less and is at home more, perhaps we can have a proper father-daughter relationship now. :)
(no subject) - (Anonymous) on February 28th, 2007 06:02 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - drag0nette on February 28th, 2007 06:54 am (UTC) (Expand)
(Anonymous) on February 28th, 2007 02:19 am (UTC)
Precious Ties
Your entry brought a tear to my eye, a good tear. - Laura
JV: leaf116drag0nette on February 28th, 2007 04:01 am (UTC)
Re: Precious Ties
hi laura, thanks for reading and leaving a note! :)
Wenz: leaving on a jet planewwenzz on February 28th, 2007 10:09 am (UTC)
awwwhh.. this reminded me of my mom. no matter how stern one is, no matter how many times our parents disciplined us with different ways, they're still parents who love us and we're always lil' girls/boys in their eyes.
JV: speckydrag0nette on February 28th, 2007 12:46 pm (UTC)
yes, it always amazes me how my mother kinda knows something is up before i even say it. sometimes i'll mope around in the kitchen not being myself because i'd be thinking of how i'm gonna tell her something... and when i finally say it, she doesn't seem all that surprised. :) there's a joke in my family about how we're like 'worms in each other's tummies'.