January 11th, 2008


hello 2008

hello LJ.

i'm back.

it's been a roller-coaster of events and emotions through the past few months of 2007 into 2008, and i have finally had time to sit down, breathe, and collect my thoughts.

on the spideykids front, after munster's passing, bobby followed her a week later. in early december, slash (some of you may remember him as comma, the tiny baby who tried to build a web on my desk lamp around the same time when bobby and munster first came to me) and lucy passed away on the same day. i will dedicate individual entries to these two of my biggest kids in time to come.

i'd previously selected some of lucy's first clutch of bubs to raise, releasing the rest into an appropriate natural habitat. before lucy passed on, she'd managed to lay a second clutch. i've yet to see the second batch of bubs because all my kids are with the lab now for babysitting during my 2.5-week trip to hong kong. i will be fetching them home next week.

sonic passed away as well, just before i'd left for hong kong.

it was uncanny. i was meant to go to hong kong much earlier than i actually did. had to postpone a coupla times due to work and a bad bout of severe flu. turned out that if i'd gone off to hong kong, i would not have been able to say goodbye to three of my kids.

i did not manage to spend final moments with slash and sonic, but i had a wonderful last day with lucy on my hand. maybe because she was such a large spider compared to munster, the symptoms were more prolonged - giving me lots of time to spend with her before she went on her way. i held her in my hand for many hours. she was still walking around occasionally, sitting down to curl up slightly once in awhile. she must have known that i'd always wanted and loved to feel her tiny paws walking on my bare skin. it was the loveliest sensation. so many times have i sat at my desk and watched her hug the cork on her jar ceiling, and wished that she was hugging my finger instead. and she did. she hugged my finger for a long time, before leaving me.

she had taken the baton from munster to cement my love of larger, jumping spiders. and i shall miss her very, very much. i will raise her children to become splendid spiders, just like she was.

2008 has started in a rather strange way for me. one positively amazing thing was receiving a new year sms from a very dear old friend whom i'd never expected to hear from again. it was unbelievable. i still have problems believing that it happened. but it did. it has. bb and cc muffins are united again, after four years of estrangement.

i have stayed positive and open through these four years, never critical, never accusatory... even though there was never any light at the end of the tunnel. i have thus been proven that unconditional love is truly a powerful thing.

happy 2008, everyone.