August 30th, 2008


a day of horror

my precious girl has lost a leg. the danger now is that she may bleed to death, because spiders' blood doesn't clot. uncle jeremy says she will be safe if the leg broke cleanly off, if not i have to amputate the remainder... i do see a tiny section but i'm not sure if it's just a protrusion from her body. uncle john said to apply cornflour to the wound to stop the bleeding, which i have done (with slight difficulty... she got so much flour on her it was a little funny despite the grave situation). she has crawled into bed and now i can only hope for the best.

so, what happened was... lucien's siblings have been slowly dying off. scout was the first to go. but that was expected because he seems to have inherited weaker genes from lucy, being the second batch of her kids. he was only half the size of tiga. the next to go was dot. lucien's little sister, whom i actually expected to outlive her, was found on the bottom of her jar, at a precise angle where i couldn't see her. she might have been dead for a coupla days. :( i'd thought she was hiding in her bed during the days when i didn't spot her. after that, tiga started acting funny. he began to have long periods of staring into space. this is one of the first signs of the end. he's still alive now, but has been less and less responsive. i have done a farewell photoshoot of tiga today. i think he will leave us late tonight or tomorrow.

so, with all these in mind, i realise that time waits for no one. if i want lucien to have kids, maybe i shouldn't wait any longer? yesterday, i fed both lucien and her potential bf, pip the pirate boy. first attempt to introduce them had pip seemingly stalk lucien from behind, instead of dancing to get her attention. i panicked and separated them. then i offered  a cricket to pip, who refused it. so he wasn't hungry and trying to stalk lucien to eat her. ok. i thought maybe he was just getting nearer before going about the normal antics. so i put them together again.

lucien is a little blur. she has always been a little blind to certain things. she hardly saw pip at all. pip stalked her again... and then just grabbed her with no warning! they tangled into a ball... and i almost had a heart attack. she flung him off after a gruelling few seconds that seemed like an eternity to me. then i separated them at once.

i didn't see anything amiss until i saw lucien's furry leg. by itself. :o

i checked her at once and saw her with only three legs on one side. it wasn't one of her front legs, so that's a good thing. there was a huge blob of clear blood on the jar where the incident occured, so i freaked out. uncle john said that should be normal... so i'm trying to stop freaking out.

i still can't believe what happened. i'm so upset with myself. i should have taken the first attempt as a sign and stopped there.

my poor little girl.